You Know You're Becoming French (Aixoise) When...

You can successfully walk on a two cm-wide sidewalk and avoid all of the dog droppings...while texting.

You realize that your quotidian English vocabulary starts to include words like: render, ill at ease, genial, perplexed, inculpable, derange, etc.

You shower every other day...mostly.

You can't go an entire day without eating Nutella on something, or just plain.

You never close doors.

You change plans at the last second...or create plans at the last second, and you actually enjoy this.

You start saying "Pardon" to yourself.

You no longer feel the urge to pee every time you see a fountain.

You know that the difference between Mistral and the mistral is that the first is a poet and the second is a poet's fodder.

SPECULOOS.

You pay more attention to the weather itself than to what the weather men are saying.

You no longer have panic attacks when you ride in a car with a French driver.

You've learned that EVERYTHING tastes better with some "l'huile d'olive"

You can spot a tourist from a kilometer away.

(Speaking of which) You've started referring to distances in meters and American finances in Euros.

You have memorized you host mom's conversation with her 90 yr. old mother every morning and can mouth along with her from another room.

You've ALMOST memorized your French telephone number.

Your evening plans are not complete without "prendre un verre."

You love judging cheese.

You pronounce your own name/sing American songs in a French accent.

You "secretly" think Paris is over-rated.

You have mastered the French wrist flick and spitting sound.

The waitress at the tea salon remembers what you ordered the last time you were there.

You feel the urge to finish every meal with either cheese or fruit.

You fear the monarchy.

You can accurately describe the color of the St. Victoire mountain range...on both sides...at every time of day! 

You express preferences for the attaque, evolution, finale, and persistance.

You "cherche le pain" like it's your job.

You know all the sunniest places and seek them out everyday. :)